#11: Rival Turf! (SNES)

Oh. My. God.

First off, the Jaleco logo gets even bigger! It's way more larger than the Nintendo logo! Jesus Christ, Jaleco, why do your logos take over half the screen?

Second, remember Bad Dudes vs DragonNinja? I think those two kids were the child versions of the Bad Dudes, even though one looks black. Also, the building is so blue. So so blue. It's so blue, it inspired Eiffel 65 to write "Blue".

Wait a minute, there's a two player mode? And it's simultaneous? And it stars the Bad Dudes as children?  And it takes place on the alien planet on the music video for "Blue"? Only one picture can describe this;

#10: Irritating Stick (PS1)

Another game made by Jaleco. Before you ask, it's based on one of those carnival games where you must not let the stick touch the sides or you'll get buzzed. If you don't know what I mean, then watch Mr. Bean. And sadly, it's not a innuendo game. So, classics from Irritating Stick's cover include the ever-famous huge-ass Jaleco logo, the lightsaber knockoff held by a guy who looks like one of the Jumbomen from Katamari, Photoshop background effects, and gold wordart that should say "Vibrating Stick", which wouldn't pass with the censors.

#9: Donkey Kong (Intellivision)

If you look more closer into the box art, it gets more and more epic. Mario could be portrayed as a insane Freddy Mercury who stole baby Thor's hammer or Benito Mussolini if he wasn't fat or bald. Donkey Kong could be portrayed as a mutant from outer space or what music has become today, and Pauline could be Barbra Striesland. The game takes on a new plot;

"In 2124, Freddie Mercury has been resurrected to fight the Modern Music Mutant Monkey, who has took reanimated Barbra Striesland hostage! Use baby Thor's hammer to destroy the Bad Rap Barrels and the Friday Fireballs and climb the ruins of Apple Records to kill the MMMM!"

All while it asks you how high you can get. Also, CBS made this? Really?

EDIT: Oh, and I must comment on the "REAL ARCADE GAME" part. What were you expecting, Donkey Dong, the game where- I should cut it off right here.

#8: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (Sega CD)

Yes, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch did have a video game. Yes, it was crap. The Sega CD logo can tell you how doomed the game was. A lot of crappy things had a Sega CD port (but not Marky Mark. Marky Mark's pretty cool). You know what super crappy thing was imported to the Sega CD?

None other than our faithful pal, Ignatius Mortimer Meen!

#7: Imagine Babies (DS)

This image might just be fake, but it's so bad, I had to share it anyways.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I'll stop now. But seriously, how cheap must a company be if the cover of the game uses stock photos that still have the watermarks on them? The game was shit, anyways*. This is a good example of when the covers tell you how good the gameplay. And no, there's no copies of this on eBay.

*And yes, I did unfortunately play Imagine Babyz.

#6: Karnaaj Rally (GBA)

(Note: Since Blogger's image feature is not working, I had to get the image from Wikipedia. Also, expect me to call the game "Karnaaj Racing".)

Okay, I have many complaints of this cover. First, there's Jaleco, covering most of the lower right with their huge-ass logo. It reminds me of when they put their company names on their NES games' sides. Also, notice the pink car in the background, or the background in general. Notice any similarities with the background?

Yep, it's none other than our good old mindfuck pal Metro Cross! But with all that aside, you know what you want me to complain about. You want me to complain about the guy with the neon blue hair, eyes, and eyebrows. Well here we go. First problem; he looks way too much like Ray William Johnson. Don't see the similarity?

Now you see it. I wouldn't be surprised if that was Ray William Johnson's first appearence before Equals Three. But enough about him. The face the guy (Not RWJ) is making looks like he is constipated. Also, why does he have burn marks? Was he in a bar fire before taking the photo. Whatever. Jaleco makes the most fucked up covers of any video game, and this the best example.

#5: Tommy Lasorda Baseball (Genesis) and Metro Cross (Atari ST)

I don't have much to say about this other than a lot of things. First, it's supposed to be a game sponsored by Tommy Lasorda. But the way he's drawn makes him look like Bill Clinton. Would Bill Clinton even play, or throw a pitch for, baseball?

Holy shit! Now, let's go see what lurks in Metro Cross for the Atari ST.

It's like if Tony Hawk was on drugs, wore a scuba suit, and drove through Mindtrip Museum. Also, notice the guy running on the topright. That man is anyone who saw the cover and had common sense. They knew that people would run away from the cover.